I just returned from Pepperdine's Women Work Life Balance conference, a fabulous 2-day event with quality presentations all based on research. I was fortune to be on a panel of four women and I represented the professional woman who "opted out" of the workforce. As I told my story, I shared with the audience that, in fact, perhaps we need to reposition our orientation around "opting out." This terminology implies a perspective from the work side of the equation. Instead, I believe that we should be thinking about this subject as one of OPTING IN - that is, opting in to life and living. With this orientation that the notion of "opting" isn't from the perspective of work, but rather from the perspective of life, it opens up the mindset.
We learned from the conference speakers, and research has shown us that many women really do not feel like they have the choice when they opt-out, and yet the word "opt" means to have choice and the option (Ms. Pamela Stone, guest speaker). If we reframe the orientation to one of "opting in" to life we begin to believe that we do have choices, that our abilities and options and experiences are vast and can take us in many different directions. So, I shared with everyone this analogy. When we think of work-life balance, I have an image of a balance beam in my head and one is either on the balance beam, moving linearly, up or back, or is off on one side or off on the other. If we think of work-life as an integration, I have an image of a giant hamster ball, in which we roll around. We can move in any direction and we can accelerate or slow down.
As I shared my story, I believe that when I left the work force, I "opted out" and felt very much like I had wounds to lick and an identity to repair. However, what happened next has been profound. I pursued activities that I would have never thought to pursue had I remained working, that have made my life exponentially richer in experiences than otherwise. And the single lesson in switching the mental frame from one of "opting out" to one of "opting in" is that I adopted a learning orientation and an adaptability to change that enables me to keep growing, being challenged, and living a fulfilling life.
As professional women trying to find significance, we tend to look at building a sense of significance according to traditional rules of working, and certainly that path cannot be discounted entirely. However, it is possible to build our significance from what we share and bring into this world and through the development of our passions (plural). We build our significance when we embrace the weave of different textures in our lives. We build our significance by thinking about "giving it forward" every day. And work is but one part of the weave, and one aspect of all the choices we embrace in life. In fact, we have many choices. So, rather than looking at the subject as "opting out" of the workforce, we can choose to orient around "OPTING IN" to the life force.
We learned from the conference speakers, and research has shown us that many women really do not feel like they have the choice when they opt-out, and yet the word "opt" means to have choice and the option (Ms. Pamela Stone, guest speaker). If we reframe the orientation to one of "opting in" to life we begin to believe that we do have choices, that our abilities and options and experiences are vast and can take us in many different directions. So, I shared with everyone this analogy. When we think of work-life balance, I have an image of a balance beam in my head and one is either on the balance beam, moving linearly, up or back, or is off on one side or off on the other. If we think of work-life as an integration, I have an image of a giant hamster ball, in which we roll around. We can move in any direction and we can accelerate or slow down.
As I shared my story, I believe that when I left the work force, I "opted out" and felt very much like I had wounds to lick and an identity to repair. However, what happened next has been profound. I pursued activities that I would have never thought to pursue had I remained working, that have made my life exponentially richer in experiences than otherwise. And the single lesson in switching the mental frame from one of "opting out" to one of "opting in" is that I adopted a learning orientation and an adaptability to change that enables me to keep growing, being challenged, and living a fulfilling life.
As professional women trying to find significance, we tend to look at building a sense of significance according to traditional rules of working, and certainly that path cannot be discounted entirely. However, it is possible to build our significance from what we share and bring into this world and through the development of our passions (plural). We build our significance when we embrace the weave of different textures in our lives. We build our significance by thinking about "giving it forward" every day. And work is but one part of the weave, and one aspect of all the choices we embrace in life. In fact, we have many choices. So, rather than looking at the subject as "opting out" of the workforce, we can choose to orient around "OPTING IN" to the life force.
